Happy First Day of Summer!

Warmest, fondest wishes of the First Day of Summer to any sundry passerby who happens to note my once-again-neglected-blog. :)
Time is a funny thing...it speeds past yet somehow seems to slowly meander all in the same moment.
Friday, June 20, 2008 finds me perched on a couch in a suburb of Denver, Colorado with a spectacular view of the Rocky Mountains out the back window.
In this past month since graduating Northland for the second time and trying to be all grown up I have made some startling realizations...
I'm very close to being addicted to little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.
I was not made to walk in high heels--ever.
The Vast majority of my friends are either engaged, married, or being fruitful and multiplying.
I have some odd pet peeves (one of them being false drawers.)
Road tripping is a favorite pastime.
Dodging deer, potholes, turkeys, and snowdrifts for my whole driving career was ill preparation for 3 lane traffic, blaring car horns, and merging lanes.

And in the midst of these discoveries, more importantly, is the incredible power of the Word of God. My counseling internship has brought me to many observation sessions that have left me both sad because of the devastation and utter destruction of sin, and grounded in Truth--the only Truth. There is nothing more exciting than seeing someone's life changing before your eyes as they begin to see that God is Who He says He is.
So. Happy First Day of Summer to all....may it be the start of seeing more of His grace.

When It Rains It....Tsunamis.

I do not have the reflexes of a cat. This remarkable discovery occured sometime in the middle of the night last night when I found myself painfully sprawled on our carpeted cement floor. Apparently I had convinced myself in my sleep that I was back home in my normal bed--not perched on the top of a bunk bed. I slightly remember sitting up in a half cognizant state and jumping off my bed--expecting the ground to be 3 inches away. However, the ground was decidedly Not 3 inches away, and my slumbering body did not compensate. I found myself painfully awake on our floor, having landed on my palms and my knees and skinning a huge chunk of my arm to the state of bleeding. My roommate woke up to the thud (fat joke target: right here) and wanted to know if I was ok and needed some ice. :) Needless to say, I stumbled into the bathroom, surveyed the damage, and painfully pulled myself back up into bed. I rather wish we had had it on video; I bet it would have been entitled to something in Funniest Home Videos.
However, it seemed a fitting way to end the week. Sometimes the Lord orchestrates the circumstances of life to beyond pouring when it rains. C.S. Lewis once wrote that God whispers in our joys but shouts in our pain.
How very often I must clear away the cobwebs of complexities and come back to simply sit in His presence and adore. The simplicity that is in Christ--to delight in God. And how thankful I am for weeks such as these that remind me acutely of the character of God...His sovereignty, His mercy, His power, His holiness, His grace.
As Oswald Chambers stated so poignantly, "All I do ought to be founded on a perfect oneness with Him, not on a self-willed determination to be godly." Yet another reason I am thankful for the perfect plans of God that manifest themselves in ways unpleasant to the flesh. A reminder that I cannot make myself godly, I cannot rescue myself from trouble...for I can do nothing apart from Him. What a blessed reality for the soul to claim!

It seems at times that when it rains it tsunamis...but God is Who He says He is.

Ps. 33:21 "For our heart is glad in Him because we trust in His holy name."

Return of the Wanderer

(Such a droll title. I'd much prefer something like, "Return of the Dragon Slayer" or "Return of the Roving Warrior" or even "Return of the Troll." Oh well. )
For any wanderers who happen to observe this poorly neglected site, my name is Rae--I am the delinquent who has not blogged in almost an entire year. :) However, I have duly repented me of my ways and have decided to attempt some semblance of ruminations in the year 2008. For those who despaired of ever keeping contact via the world of Internet...I'm afraid I may not be able to offer consistency, but I do offer sincerity. :)
The Year 2007 in a NutShell:
I struggled.
The Lord faithfully and lovingly guided.
One of my very dear friends got married.
I completed my first year of Grad School without getting kicked out.
I completed my first year as a most unorthodox secretary without a) getting fired or b) getting my boss fired.
The first (and thankfully last) Summerlude class was completed and goodbyes to two of my closest friends were said in one very difficult week.
I attempted to water-ski, I water-tubed, and I flew for the first time ever (please note that these are not intentionally inter-related.)
The Lord allowed me to meet and form relationships with various impacting people.
I went to China.
I ate cow stomach, ox vocal cords, goose intestine, and rabbit heart (please see the above statement.)
I met 31 very special Chinese kids and greater learned the depth of my inadequacies and pride.
I came back to Northland for my last year of Grad School.
I did not get engaged or married--nor did I elope.
I was given pretty much the best present ever--a ginormous, cute, soft teddy bear.
I forgot how much I love my home and where I was raised...I forgot how much I dislike radishes...I forgot how much I love to laugh...

And as I look back on the past year, the clear hand of my Father is so overwhelmingly present.
I was faithless. He was faithful--He can be nothing but.
I faltered. He rooted and grounded me in love.
I suffered. He healed the broken hearted and bound wounds.
I fell. He bid me rise--and carried me.
I strayed. He shepherded me, chastening me, guiding me, restoring my soul.
I questioned. He did not deign to answer me--revealing the greatness of His ways and thoughts and my desperate need to wait on Him.
I rejoiced. In His presence there is fullness of joy.
And I triumphed. Thanks be to God Who always causes us to triumph.

"And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him Who is true; and we are in Him Who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." I John 5:20

The Strength of Weakness

What caused the apostle Paul to write, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness...I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me...for when I am weak, then I am strong"?
Perhaps he had learned the glory of pain.
Perhaps he had learned the sacrifice of praise.
Perhaps he had learned the strength of weakness.
Perhaps he had learned the brokenness of healing.
In a rough paraphrase, someone once wrote, "The circumstances of life are sacraments of God's will." What a beautiful picture...every-day events of our lives, however large or miniscule, are living, breathing, visible manifestations of an invisible Father. His love, His sovereignty, His mercy, His faithfulness, His very Presence.
The past weeks have been filled with praying through and processing the events of this semester, of the last 4 and 1/2 years, and of all of (my short) life. And I have been brought back to this one, over-riding Truth that has governed my best intentions, my greatest attempts, my feeble understanding, my pervasive self-righteousness: Weakness.
The pain, confusion, and frustration of past choices, present circumstances, and future dreams have brought me again and again into the presence of the One Who loved me and gave Himself for me. The One Who heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds. The One Who is well pleased with the sacrifices of a broken and a contrite heart. In God's Sovereignty, they have brought me to one conclusion and allowed me to stray to no other: my complete and utter weakness. In every arena of life.
A good friend brought to my attention the utter difficulty of ministering when you feel as though your heart is breaking, your soul is in turmoil, and your spirit is shattered. He's right. It is incredibly difficult. But I have come to realize that brokenness precedes healing; and I am beginning to learn that pain is not innately bad. Suffering happens by virtue of life. It is our response to that pain that dictates its results. And oh, the comfort of the Cross! To be rooted and grounded in His love, to be in His presence, is nothing but fullness of joy. The questions and cries of a pain-filled heart need no answers...only Christ and His love. For He is the true Solution, the only Solution.

Paul's theology of weakness is paradoxical indeed--and so typically Christ-pre-eminent. The failures of life, confusing circumstances, physical infirmities, discouragement, past decisions: we shrink at these, pull back, fear, doubt, waver. Paul not only accepted them, he embraced them! To what end? Paul walked in the reality that only in our weakness can we truly ever be strong. His live exemplified, "Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." Not, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, keep grinning and bearing it. Rather, accept your weakness, acknowledge it, even exult in it. For the strength of Almighty God comes to meet us in our weakness. Only ever in our weakness are we strong--for then we are Divinely enabled and empowered. "To those that have no might He increases strength."

To summarize this lengthy post, God is glorified in our weakness. "We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God and not of us."

May we learn the glory of pain.

May we learn the sacrifice of praise.

May we learn the strength of weakness.

May we learn the brokenness of healing.

"Through Him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that aknowledge His name. " Heb. 13:15

Cogitations and Hallucinations

In departure from the standard fare of blog writing, I would like to state that Thanksgiving Break was very relaxing.

And restful.

Did I mention relaxing?

All in all, I think this was a good and profitable thing. Some circumstances are overwhelmingly dire and it is easy to succomb to the pressure of the moment. All the stress relief was decidedly necessary.

A Fairy Tale Come True

Man-kind's greatest sense of God-given nobility could never imagine a God like unto our God. The best fairy tale ever conjured by finite minds could never portray even the basest image of the greatness of God, even embodied in its most wonderful, noble, kind king or hero. Mere mortals dream of those who rescue the poor and needy, rule with justice and love, and perform daring feats and amazing good deeds.
Never do they imagine One Who sits enthroned in eternity, glorious in holiness and clothed with splendor, infinitely superior to their greatest imaginations and fables. Never do they imagine themselves subjects of the King of kings, the Lord of all lords.
How far above the finest, grandest thoughts of depraved man does the Holy One dwell, searching for those who will not compare Him to their likeness, but will worship Him Alone as everlasting God!

Discerning the Call of God

This section of one of Elisabeth Elliot's books hit me right where I am. May it minister to the searching heart as it did mine.

As a little girl I especially loved the story of God's call to the child Samuel as he lay sleeping in the temple. I wondered if God would ever call me. Would I hear Him? What would He say? Throughout my growing years I read missionary stories and heard them told at our dinner table by guests from many lands who came to stay with us. I was always eager to know just how they were called. As a college student I worried much about whether I would fail to follow the Shepherd, would be deaf to His call. I thought it such a bewildering matter.
It is not a worry anymore. Experience has taught me that the Shepherd is far more willing to show His sheep the path than the sheep are to follow. He is endlessly merciful, patient, tender, and loving. If we, His stupid and wayward sheep, really want to be led, we will without fail be led. Of that I am sure.
When we need help, we wish we knew somebody who is wise enough to tell us what to do, reachable when we need him, and even able to help us. God is. Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent--everything we need. The issue is confidence in the Shepherd Himself, a confidence so complete that we offer ourselves without any reservation whatsoever and determine to do what He says.
What He says? But how shall I know that?
He calls us every day, "o'er the tumult of our life's wild, restless sea." He comes to us in the little things, in the ordinary duties which our place in life entails. When I was a child He called me. The duty which my place in life entailed was obedience to my father and mother. In school and Sunday School He called me through the teacher. What she said I knew I was supposed to do. In first grade (yes, in public school) we sang the hymn, "Father, We Thank Thee." The second stanza says, "Help us to do the things we should, to be to others kind and good, in all we do at work or play to grow more loving every day." God's call again.
It's alluring to think of our own situation as very complex and ourselves as deep and complicated, so that we waste a good deal of time puzzling over "the will of God." Frequently our conscience has the answer.
My friend Jim O'Donnell tells how he, a hard-headed, hard-hearted man of the world, found Christ. His conscience was awakened. The call of God was immediate: "Go home and love your wife." The change was so sudden and so radical, Lizzie could not make head or tail of what had come over him. This self-confident and self-interested man had quit living for himself. He had died. An altogether new kind of life was now his. The first difference it made was the difference that mattered most--in his private life. It was there that he began to obey.
We are not talking here about audible voices. Although people in Bible times often heard God speak, we can expect that He will usually speak today through conscience, through the written Word, through other people, and through events. Events themselves, the seemingly insignificant happenings of every day, reveal the will of God. They are the will of God for us, for while we live, move, and have our being here on earth, in this place, this family, this house, this job, we live, move, and have our being in God. He "pulls strings through circumstances," as Jim Elliot said, even the bad circumstances (see Genesis 45:8, 50:20).
Three questions may help to clarify the call of God. Have I made up my mind to do what He says, no matter what the cost? Am I faithfully reading His Word and praying? Am I obedient in what I know today of His will?
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul" (Psalm 143:8, NIV).

*Bold and italics mine.

Humbled Thoughts.

Augustine once wrote, "You made us for Yourself, and our hearts find no peace til they rest in You." How poignant. How soul-stirring. And how gripping a Truth.
No thing, no one, no circumstance, no path, no life style can satisfy the discontent of our souls other than He Whose loving kindness is better than life. There is no restoring of the soul outside of Him Who is the Living Water. There is no filling of the hungry, needy heart other than He Who is the Bread of Life.
I entitled this short post "Humbled Thoughts." This has been a blessedly humbling week in the midst of wretched pride, self-sufficiency, and suppression of Truth. I have felt more so this semester than almost any other time that I genuinely know nothing of what the Cross means--of what salvation means--of Who God truly is. The desperate need of my heart is for nothing less than to sit at the feet of Christ and, beholding His glory, being changed by Him, in Him, for Him. The wandering heart can find no respite other than brokenness.
Ps. 34:4-5 have been a continual blessing to me. May God's Word encourage and challenge your heart and stir in you a passion to see His Radiance.
"I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."

The Glory of God in Isaiah

"When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them."

"Thus says God, the Lord, Who created heavens and stretched them out, Who spread out the earth and what comes from it, Who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it; I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you...I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other."

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

"I, I am He Who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins."

"Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and His Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: I am the first and I am the last; besides Me there is no god. "

"I formed you; you are My servant; O Israel, you will not be forgotten by me. I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like a mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you."

"Even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save."

"I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all My purpose'...I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it."

"Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go."

"The Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame."

"Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of His servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God."

War and Peace

Phil. 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Peace.
Rest.
Stillness.
What a seemingly elusive concept amidst the ongoing treadmill of events and circumstances in daily life. And perhaps even more elusive is peace of mind and soul, effecting every aspect of our outlook, our perceptions, our reactions...the depths of our very being.
These 2 oft-quoted, oft-preached, but perhaps little-practiced verses contain the key to the prison of a tortured heart.
The God of peace fought for peace; it is part of His very character and nature. As such, He is the only source, the Ultimate source, of peace. He is the Giver of Peace. And that peace, attained by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, is a powerful warrior.
Philippians tells us that it guards the heart. The heart is kept with all diligence under the protectice covering of the guardian Peace. The emotions and dreams are guarded by peace. And not only the heart, but the mind is also kept carefully by Peace. The thoughts and turmoils of the mind are thwarted by the warrior of Peace. It zealously and jealously protects against unworthy thoughts of God that cause worry or doubt. It dispels fear and disarms struggle and frustration.
Anxious, worried, fretting, about no thing. Praying, Supplicating, Giving Thanks in every thing. Full confidence in the All-Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God. No matter the pain, no matter the struggle, no matter the hurt. And God's peace, which surpasses human understanding in its depth and entirety, will be a warrior to guard and protect and shield.
Peace.
Rest.

Stillness.

Is. 30:15: "In returning and rest shall ye be saved;

in quietness and confidence shall be your strength."

Ps. 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God."

Walking in Truth

"Thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness." Ps. 18:28
"...When I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me."
Micah 7:8
There are many passages of Scripture that speak of the contrasts of Light and Darkness; we often associate the analogy with those who are saved and those who are lost. But as I have been thinking and praying, my thoughts have gone a slightly different direction.
If you were to enter a dark room, you would find your perception of your location and your surroundings rather skewed. You might wander around, feeling your way for the familiar, guessing at the location of objects, but incredibly uncertain and unsure. Even a small beam of light would help you grasp your bearings slightly better, but when the flood of an overhead light comes on, there is no more uncertainty--only fact. Everything is clear, the location of things is clear...perception is no longer skewed.
The same is true of the our spiritual walk. Unless our minds are renewed with the Truth of God's Word, flooded by His Light, we walk in darkness. The thoughts, desires, and feelings of our deceitful hearts twist and contort Reality, leading us further into blindness. Our perceptions of God and of ourselves become horrifically skewed, wreaking havoc not only in our spiritual lives, but leaving great consequences on those we come in contact with. The frightening truth is, our sin has devastating effects on those around us.
It is possible for a follower of Christ to live and walk in darkness. The darkness of lies we believe about ourselves and about our God. Lies that perhaps lurk in the subconcious and would never dare to voice themselves. Lies such as, "If God were Truly good, then ____." Or, "If God really loved me, than ______ wouldn't be happening." "God can't be in control." "His Word can't truly mean what it says when it tells me to trust Him in everything. Look at my circumstances!" "His way can't possibly be best." "He can't possibly be doing what's good for me."
Or perhaps something such as "God isn't worthy of my time." "God isn't the One True God. I choose instead to worship myself." These are lies that cause darkness, confusion, and a completely wrong view of Christ. They cause a life of delusion and misconceptions. Like someone groping in darkness, a feeling of confidence may come in the direction they're heading and the choices they're making--until the light reveals they were hopelessly wrong.
But praise our God, there is hope! In these lies Christ shines the Light of His Truth, that we might walk in it.
We no longer walk in darkness as enemies of God; let us now walk confidently in the Light of Truth and flee from the blindness of our old man.

Of Orange Juice and Pulp

I would like to state that the term "orange juice" carries with it the connotation of juice from an orange--yea, even a good dictionary definition would convey this information. And, I would further like to mention, that it does not imply the actual drinking of an orange and all its contents. It is with this in mind that I feel the urge to express an extreme dislike--shall we say, distaste?--when I calmly pour a glass of orange juice, only to drink it and choke on enough pulp to fill 3 very obese oranges. When a sieve is needed to separate the actual juice from the other remnants of oranges...this is when I cry in outrage! (After, of course, I pick all the pulpy sinews from between my teeth.) I drink orange juice because I would like to have the liquid of an orange, not eat half the orange on the way down in the process. What is America coming to?! Where are those who will boldly take a stand and demand the purification of orange juice and preserve the right of eating whole oranges if desired?!
Guess I should just buy the pulp-free kind. :)

Home...away from Home

"There's no place like home, Auntie Em....there's no place like home!!"
K, well, I don't have the ruby red slippers to click and I have no dog named Toto, but...I am so thoroughly blessed and grateful to be back home again.
There's just something about home. Back to the quietness of the country, to long walks in my meadow, talks with my parents, the solitude and quiet of my room, and most of all, time spent at the feet of Christ.
This semester has been a long one and, in some ways, a hard one. But the Lord lovingly, gently, reminded me that in my weakness, He carries me; in my frailty He gives me breath and strength; in the night He is my Song; in the darkness He Alone is my Light; in my nothingness He is my All.
Christianity cannot be reduced to a God we view with reference to how He makes us--allows us--to feel. It cannot, should not, must not. Nor can it be reduced to a God we view in reference to what He can or has or will do for us. True, God meets our every need. True, He gives peace that passes understanding. But if this is how we view Him...in reference to our own, self-centered experiences, we have a shamedly small, unworthy view of Him. God is far, far greater than the ways in which we (often selfishly) experience Him. May He open the eyes of our understanding that we may see even a small portion of His greatness--and worship Him as He Alone demands and deserves.
To be home is wonderful...but how much greater to be Home in the presence of an Eternal, Immortal, Invisible King Who called us to be His heirs.

The Trustworthiness of God

Isaiah 50:10-- "Who among you fears the Lord, and obeys the voice of His servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God."
The past few weeks have been hectic, stressful, exhausting--but overflowing with the presence of an ever faithful God Who continues to be my exceeding joy...my song in the night. :) This verse captures much of my feeling: walking in darkness with no light, learning to trust in the name of the Lord and rely on my God.
The play came and went...the Lord Alone carried us. Missions Conference came and went...the Lord gave strength and grace. Room situations came and stayed, drawing us closer to each other and to Christ, showing us our insufficiency, our pride, and the greatness of a God Who controls everything. The last days of class have come and gone, multiple papers have been written, several hundred pages read, and once again, the Lord Alone was my sufficiency.
And through it all, I have been brought back to trusting in the name of the Lord. My Good Shepherd Who always leads me beside still waters and restores my soul. My Deliverer Who lifted me out of the miry clay, put my feet on a rock, and established my going. My Abba Father Who tells me to cast all my cares on Him and find Him to be my All in All. My Faithful Intercessor Who made it possible for me to come humbly but boldly before His throne of grace. My Completer, my Creator, my Life, my All.
This is the God I serve. And despite the circumstances of the jungle which is this life, despite my failings and frustrations and disappointments and contorting emotions, He never changes.

I can rely on my God because He is God.
Because He is a trustworthy God.

Time to Seek the Lord

I desperately needed Spring Break.
I hadn't realized how far I had drifted in my walk with the Lord--how shallow and disgustingly hard my heart had become, even in the midst of fighting to stay focused and struggling to respond correctly to circumstances and understand what it is God is trying to teach me. None of those things are bad things, but as with anything that usurps the place of Almighty God, they became bad things when I let them take priority.
I was reading this morning in Hosea 10, meditating on part of verse 12: "Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord." This whole semester Christ has been bringing me back to this one, most important thing in all of life. Seeking His face continually...His presence. When He is my passionate focus, my All in all, the pre-eminent One, the things of life that vie for my attention--the thoughts of my heart, my relationships, my own desires and expectations--fall into correct place beneath Him. They stand with greater clarity in the Light of His glory...not necessarily easier to handle, but with a peace that comes with the mind of Christ.
"Break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord."
May you Seek and find Him as you search with all your heart...and may you worship Him passionately each day in spirit and in truth.

Lord, I Give Up

All the circumstances of the past few years have pointed me again and again to "looking only unto Jesus." Every relationshp issue, every trial, everyday life, has brought me again and again to my knees...and has lifted my gaze from my feelings and my emotions and turned them to Himself as my Only Source of satisfaction. I wait Only on Him--from God Alone is my deliverance, my hope, my joy. It all comes down to the essence of surrender, yieldedness, brokenness. May this poem be a blessing to you as it has to me.

Lord, I give up

all my own purposes and plans,

all my own desires and hopes and ambitions,

and accept Thy will for my life.

I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee,

to be Thine forever.

I hand over to Thy keeping all my friendships;

all the people whom I love

are to take a second place in my heart.

Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit.

Work out Thy whole will in my life,

at any cost, now and forever.

~Betty Stam

A Puritan Prayer

"Unmask me to sin's deformity,

that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it...

Let me never forget that the heinousness of sin

lies not so much in the nature of the sin committed,

as in the greatness of the Person sinned against. "

Steadfast Love

Have you ever wondered why people are so nice to you? Or why they are so kind, so considerate, so faithful? I have certainly on occasion marveled at that...but it pales in comparison to the love and faithfulness of my King. He is an amazing, almighty Father; He is worthy of all my passionate praise and love and devotion.
Hannah Whitall Smith once wrote, "Put together all the tenderest love you know of, the deepest you have ever felt, and the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you and heap upon it all the love of all the loving human hearts in the world, and then mulitply it by infinity, and you will begin, perhaps, to have some faint glimpse of what the love of God is."
"For Your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in Your faithfulness." Ps. 26:3 (ESV)

I Corinthians 13

Happy Valentine's Day. :)
The past few days have been full of thoughts and emotions and lessons; but particularly, it seems as though the Lord has been reminding me of Love--His and mine. And how very different the two are. Several messages in these few days have targeted the issue of my heart, and I've been realizing more and more how incredibly deficient, shallow, and trivial my love for Christ has become. Somewhere, at some point, I ceased doing things because of my passion for Him and started the "habit of holiness", if you will. Spirituality became the norm, and my love waned as I continued on in my own strength. The love of Christ wasn't compelling me.
It scares me that my sin is so deceitful, and how quickly I am hardened by it. Since today was Valentine's Day (and I am blessedly single) :) I was thinking about the love of my God and how infinitely great it is. I Corinthians 13 is an amazing passage; not only does it describe what our love for others and for God should be, but it pictures a small window into His love for us.
May we delight in the love of God...rooted and grounded, that we might know with all the saints what is the length and depth and breadth and heighth of His love that surpasses our knowledge. And may we walk worthy, compelled by an ever-increasing love for Christ.

Fighting to Rest

He who hath led will lead
All through the wilderness
He who hath fed will surely feed...
He who hath heard thy cry
Will never close His ear,
He who hath marked thy faintest sigh
Will not forget thy tear.
He loveth always, faileth never,
So rest on Him today--Forever.
~Mrs. Carmichael

"May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His dear son." Col. 1:11-14 (ESV)